*meniup habuk dan membersihkan sawang yang ada kat blog ni* Fuh Fuh.
I know I know, it's been a long while since my last post. I've been busy. Like seriously, super duper busy. A Levels ended in June (Yes, I took A Levels (2 yrs) not sure if I mentioned earlier in my posts), which fasting started and Eid was in July. I transfered so many dramas from my friends and I didn't watch a single episode since I got back from MKIC (my college for those who don't know) because I was busy.
Sabaq sat ni nak cerita pasaipa aku busy. I was preparing for my wedding. Yes, I got married in July a week after Eid. I got married to my best friend. The marriage was an agreement by both of our families. Well, my parents decided that if I were to go to study in UK (Yes, that's why I took A level), I should get married so that I could have someone (mahram) to look over me abroad.
You see, it's a risk taking this step. Because, just what if I didn't get to go to UK, I would be separated from my husband which I intend not to since I really (REALLY) like the guy. Oh, FYI, My husband also took A-Level to UK but he was from a different college. I thought this out for 2 years, and I struggled thinking that, this is it, its now or never, its fly or die (terpisah dengan bae). Architecture ain't easy I tell you, I didn't get enough sleep, I was zombfied especially during the last sem.
So, after the solemnization, we were busy the whole month. I remembered waking up, and coming back home at night stumbled into deep sleep and repeat again the next day. Travelling and running errands, attending programmes, settling documents, giving motivational talk at schools.We didn't get much time and pivacy except for two days in Penang (which is a during weekdays). It was a budget not-so-honeymoon. In between these hustling bustling period of time, our A level results finally came out. Alhamdulillah for my dear husband because he passed with flying colours, (im so proud of chu). Unfortunately, I didn't make the sponsor's requirement.
My self esteem went tumbling down, stress came rising up. The whole week I was soul-less that husband was very worried of my condition. We were devastated, we did everything we could, went up and down KL just to beg for a chance from my sponsor. Universities from UK had been calling, asking wether I'd be registering or not, confirming the acceptance of offer. We did everything we could. Luckily I had no problem finding a local University because I already applied earlier for backup.
The point of this whole post is that, Yes I know, ada hikmah disebalik segala yang terjadi. I know how the relationship servant-God works. I know ni semua dugaan dan ujian bla bla. But I am not ready to smile it off, how could anyone? I got married just to be apart from him? I don't want your advice so just shut up. Please just let me rant, let me mourn, your understanding silence is enough. Let me cry, because distance hurts so bad. Don't you dare tell me "at least dah kahwin what?" I know okay? I know. Even now, I'm already smiling and cheering up, on the inside who knows? It hurts. A lot. I am a muslim , I know that i should husnudzon towards everything that's happened. And I shall, in time, in shaa Allah.
So now I continue my studies in USM.
Congrats yang dapat fly tu.