. Merajuk dengan Tuhan .

2:45 AM

Assalamualaikum ,
Well, here I am updating another blog post. Seems weird that I actually have time to write anything right now. My first week in MKIC, Al-Muktafi Billah Shah (AMBS) is near to its end. My gums are getting a lot better , (bukannya aku pantang sangat pun). I'm drowning in homework. Teachers are giving tonnes of homework, but still, the college decided to make silly programmes (Debate Workshop). I mean, seriously, kalau ye pun nak buat workshop, this sem is not the right time. Despite all the homework I've got. Yet I'm still here on my bed, typing away. 
Now, Housemates are chittering away about thier universities placement in UK. Well, today happened to be AS Result day, for those who repeated. Yes, I repeated too. 2 subjects. Most of my friends scored. Me? not so much, it's not really that bad. But I would have to repeat one of the subjects. Again.

Apa kena mengena dengan merajuk dengan Tuhan? Haha. Am I devastated? Yes. Part of me has already expected this disappointment. Being me, tak sah la kalau tak meroyan. Mula lah nak berhenti buat amalan2 yang selama ni duk amalkan. It has always been like that sejak masuk MKIC ni. Momentum lesap sekelip mata bila result tak memuaskan, tak seperti yang diharapkan. Solat mulah lah lewat. Dhuha mula lah nak tinggal. Surau pun tak nak jejak. Sebab apa? sebab marah, sebab Allah tak kabulkan doa "straight A" tu. Dalam post sebelum ni, I've asked, whether which doa is the best? The long term or the specific kind. I've concluded that the specific kinds are the worst. Kita minta nak kaya, nak pand!ai, nak berjaya dengan Allah, kita minta dunia dengan Allah SWT. And, I've only recently prayed like this, haha. Doa minta straight A, doa nak pergi UK. Kononnya, nak berdakwah, nak sebarkan agama Allah SWT,  nak menimba ilmu fisabilillah. (ye lah tu jet jet je semua ni) Padahal tu semua demi kepentingan diri sendiri. 

Jadi doa yang macam mana yang ok? To me lah, tawakkal, minta Allah permudahkan ilmu, minta Allah jadikan kita hamba yang bersyukur, Minta Allah tabahkan hati. Minta Allah bagi kita yang terbaik untuk kita, because Allah knows best. Dan apa apa yang terjadi mesti ada hikmah disebaliknya. My parents always said to me that whatever you get is the best for you. Dan selalu doa agar Allah berikan kita yang terbaik untuk kita. That way, you won't be so disappointed when you didn't get what you want. Because you already know , at that time, it's not meant for you. Apa guna nya merajuk dengan Tuhan? Allah SWT tak rugi. Kita yang rugi. (Pesanan bagi diri author sendiri) Cukup lah menangis, dwelling on your own disappointment. Get up and work hard. Do everything for Allah swt. For the afterlife. For everlasting Jannah. Penat sekarang takpa, kat kubuq nanti hang boleh rehat. Jangan risau. And one more thing. Bersyukur is the key to happiness. No matter what you get you have to be thankful! (It's freaking hard, I know) Alhamdulillah for everything. Allah Swt has been the most Merciful.

So, I do hope that I won't lose my momentum this time. It isn't going to be easy for me. I really want to make my parents proud. SPM semua A boleh kutip. A level pun boleh kan? Mohon doakan author. Thanks. Doa agar author dapat yang terbaik dalam exam A2 yang akan datang. Doa agar author dapat menerima ilmu fizik dengan baik lepas ni. Oh BTW, if you guys havn't noticed. Last post was written by my friend! (rikudou saiyan) Do have a look will you?  We'll be sharing my blog for a while. Bye


Yang sedang tabah, 
Azwa

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