. Half extroverted and half Introverted .

9:40 AM

Bismillahirahmanirrahim, It's been a while since I posted anything here. Life is MKIC has been.... normal. Well, I'm officially 19. Feeling so old but so immature in handling my own feelings. Still can't fit in here. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends here, both classmates and housemates its just that I don't feel comfortable sharing my problems with anyone here. At first I thought I can share with kitty (not real name), but then to her I'm just another friend who'd only be with her when they have problems. Well I'm not, because she meant so much to me, but she preferred someone else's company. So I decided that I don't want to share to her anymore, sebab ana tak nak jadi kawan yg cari kawan bila dia susah ja. Gosh, it's so hard when feelings matter so much to you. Zaman sekolah dulu tak da orang nak heran kalau sapa sakitkan hati sapa. Sejak membesar ni makin sensitif pulak.Orang gurau sikit dah terasa menusuk kalbu, betapa rapuh nya diri ku ini Ya Allah. I guess I get hurt to what people say because I'm the kind of person who mean everything I say. I'd never make a joke out of anything. 
So, extrovert. Yes I'm an extrovert. I'm a people person. I mingle. I talk to everyone. I socialize online. like I blog. I pour out my heart's desire here. I take part in almost everything. I lead and follow. Physically I'm an extrovert. Emotionally , I'm an introvert. I have an ego bigger than a guy's. I take everything at heart. I can't fit in emotionally. I can't trust people easily. When I love I love hard, but I'm ignorant sometimes. Constantly having a war in my mind. Ya Allah kuatkanlah hati hamba Mu ini. I need to be strong for You. I can't be so dependent on human because they always break my heart while You mend it. Malu nya aku dengan Mu Ya Allah. 

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