. update on me .

7:09 AM


Funny how most people feel that 24 hrs is not enough to live our life everyday. However, time flies when you’re having fun. Waiting for an event that is important to you seemed like it would took years when its only months ahead, like birthdays or anniversaries. But if theres an exam coming up or a court trial that you’re dreading , it seemed like it’s on a bullet train coming right at you. 

Well, to me, time is the enemy right now. I’m scared of so many things that are bound to happen because of limited time I have. it’s driving me up the wall. I have another 6 months in MKIC. Another 4 months to prepare for A2. I don't know how to cope with things. I'm trying my best to study and go for tuition during the whole break. Not to mention that half  of the break is used on bing nervous and crying bloody tears over IELTS. After IELTS, there was only a week and a fews days left including today. The results will be out this Friday. OH I CANT WAIT. No that's not true. I'm afraid of my worst nightmares. Tapi asalkan lepas band 6.5 cukup la kan ? I do hope that I'll get higher tho. In shaa Allah, Amin.

It's the end of December, mula lah typical "New Year New Me" tu. Haha to me my resolutions has always been  the same. Tapi untuk tahun depan, tahun yang penting bagi ana. Because next year, If I get good grades, my dream will come true. To study overseas. Pray for me huhuhu. 

Why do I always have the same resolutions every year. Why don't I change them according to the events in the year? Well, mostly because I'm afraid that I don't achieve what I hope for. I know I take myself for granted, i don't have the confidence. Tapi ana sentiasa doakan yg terbaik. Tak kira la macam mana pun.

Cakap pasal doa ni, I'm in a dilemma. Sometimes I hear people say that say long term prayers are better , but sometimes the specific ones are the best. Well, to me, it depends on the niat right? Kalau kita doa nak dapat straight A, kita tak dapat straight A mesti frust kan? Instead of Doa yang terbaik dari Dia , tak kira la apa yg kita dapat pun itulah yang terbaik, maknanya kit redha dengan segala keputusan. Tapi kalau doa macam tu macam tak usaha lansung. Entah la. ana tak cukup ilmu lagi, I need answers.

I've tried my best this year. Alhamdulillah. I will try harder next year. I really want to achieve this stage of life successfully , despite that I wasted my teenage years, I can't remember whatever I was doing. Pray for me! I wanted to write about something just now. But I forgot. oh well. toodles.

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