. Dilemma diluahkan kepada ? .

11:05 AM

Bismillahirahmanirrahim .
Hi people . So yeah. I'm proud to announce that I'm procrastinating. Yeah , I have a long to do list , but I have not started on anything yet. Lab assessment, and 4 assignments , Why Azwa why. Oh well , I should sleep earlier tonight since I don't have the mood to start on anything. The problem is , when can I enjoy weekends, as weekends are supposed to be my leisure time. I can do so many things today , like drawing but I don't want to because I feel guilty drawing when I know I have so many assignments to complete .But I didn't want to do my assignments as they're just my weekend mood spoilers. Argh , I'm in a dilemma. How am I suppose to do all that tomorrow, occupied in a Photoshop tutorial in the morning , laundry chores in the afternoon , will do a bit of the lab assessment , and some essays , might have drama practice during the night. Then , it's Monday , all over again . I should start packing . Azwa azwa azwa awat yang kalut sangat tah . Sabar separuh dari iman. 
Ana petang tadi agak stress dan call mak ,cerita kat mak segala isi hati dan jantung ni , ternyata memang betul apa yang mak cakap . Kenapa ana nak stress sebab kan semua ni , kenapa ana nak sedih , kenapa ana nak ambil tahu bila semua tu hanya menyakitkan ana. Jadi ana bersyukur , bersyukur sebab Allah SWT hadirkan orang orang yang baik sekeliling ana , terutama sekali seorang sahabat ana ni . Walaupun baru kenal tahun lepas, ana rasa bersalah dan terhutang budi sebab ana dah banyak kali menyusahkan dia. Asif. In shaa Allah , akan ada hari ana balas jasa sahabat ana tu . 
Macam ni lah , straight to the point , ana nak cakap pasal luahan. ana nak tekankan kenapa nak luahkan kepada manusia? Allah kan ada , luahkan saja kat Allah. Allah is always there for you , Allah always answers your prayers. When you feel alone , talk to Allah, by your solat. And you will know the answer by reading Quran.
Oh Allah,
I told you: I'm in pain
You said: 'Do not despair of the mercy of Allah' (39:53)
I told you: Many people hurt me
You said: 'So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them' (3:159)
I told you: I feel I'm alone
You said: 'We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein' (50:16)
I told you: My sins are so many
You said: 'And who can forgive sins except Allah?' (3:135)
I told you: Do not leave me
You said: 'So remember Me; I will remember you...' (2:152)
I told you: I'm facing a lot of difficulties in life
You said: 'And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out' (65:2)
I told you: I have many dreams that I want to come true
You said: 'Call upon Me; I will respond to you.' (40:60)
"Mankind there has come to you a guidance from your Lord and a healing for (the diseases) in your hearts, and for those who believe a guidance and a mercy. (Yunus, 10;57)


Ana tak cakap yang kita ni tak perlukan manusia , tak, salah tu. Kalau nak luahkan , luahkan kepada ibu bapa , itu cara terbaik yang ana rasa. Sejak ana rapat dengan parents sejak pertengahan form 4 (Alhamdulillah) Ana rasa macam satu rahmat yang Allah SWT berikan. Pada mulanya ,memang susah, ego kita tinggi kan bila dengan mak ayah ? Ana ambil masa setahun jugak nak menangis , nak meroyan dekat mak ayah. Ternyata merekalah orang yang paling memahami , lepastu , kalau ada suami/isteri , depa jugak akan jadi tempat luahan kita. Ana share ni , bukan sebab nak perli atau apa, hanya sekadar peringtan , A sweet reminder for you and me. Especially me, sometimes , I got lost from the track that I'm supposed to follow , I need reminders . So , jangan la masam masam terasa , buah pelam manis lagi rasanya. hikhik. Senyum :) . Luahkanlah kepada PenciptaMu , sesungguhnya , Dia merindukan tanginsan mu.

Dush ! tukar topik. hehe. Ana nak tegaskan kat sini , bukan ana dah anti-lelaki , tidak sama sekali , ramai dari sekolah tanya tentang perubahan ana. Bila perlu , kita berhubung , bila tak, tak perlu lah. Tak payah duk buat teruk cakap ana sombong la bebagai. ee geram. Ana tetap berkawan dengan antum semua, so what's the big deal. You just won't get my extra attention anymore. Bukan tu saja .Ana ada hati , jadi ana boleh jatuh cinta , tapi ana tak mampu nak buat apa kecuali doa. Perasaan cinta ni boleh ditarik Allah bila bila masa, dan ada hikmahnya. Dan Allah boleh je bagi rasa cinta bila bila masa , dalam bentuk nikmat dan dugaan, pandai pandai lah kena jaga hati. Ana takut jugak sebenarnya. Cakap pasal cinta ni memang topik yang ana akan sentiasa sentuh tapi topik yang paling ana takut nak coretkan. Ya Allah , percepatkanlah jodohku. Jauhkan aku dari maksiat. amin . amin . amin . amin . Ana minta maaf lah sejak sejak ni tak dak idea idea yang bernas , cuma sekadar melepaskan rindu jari jemari menari nari atas papan kekunci.

1."Oh Allah , grant him happiness if he deserves it as you grant me my happiness serving You."
2. "Oh Allah,  I love one of your servants, so if he is good for me, join us together in Halal under your satisfaction, but if he’s not, then turn him away from me and don’t let my heart get attached to him"


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