Warriors: May 2014

. kena tendang UTP .

2:06 AM

Bismillahirahmanirahim Hello , so here I am , in Kulim , in my house , on my bed , not studying . What happened ? Well ,I got kicked out of UTP for being super awesome. NO , just kidding. Saja buat suspens tajuk tu. I left UTP. Because I got a better offer. Going back to UTP just to do the clearance hurts a lot , that was last 2 weeks , I think. I didn't have the time to see all my friends there , my parents were so eager for me to get home. So , here's the story , I decided to leave UTP , because I got this UIA offer in architecture. I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO GET ANYTHING FROM UPU , because I got UiTM already. It's like a bonus ,you know. haha. I was sort of happy , to leave Chemistry behind. But I'm heartbroken to leave UTP. Bertungkus lumus download segala dokumen , nak plan medical checkup segala , siap buat research berbagai. Masa ni tak buat clearance lagi , masih dalam proses istikarah. Walaupun tak dapat jawapan istikarah lagi , semua dah siap sedia , in case la katakan. Bila dah selesai clearance , seminggu selepas tu, result MARA keluar. OKAY , this is where the funny part is. Masa tengah sem 1 kat UTP , I got this interview for MARA under the overseas program , and I didn't go for the interview . Kaaaaaaannn ? I know what you're thinking, rugi kot . Dah nak buat macam mana , kata orang tua ikut je la , impian ku berkecai , tiada harapan untuk ke luar negara . Ok nak buat throwback sikit , going to overseas has been my dream since highschool , it doesn't matter how many times my parents stick the sense in my head that local is fine and sometimes better than overseas. So , I kept that little dream of mine to myself , but I never stop praying to Allah , hoping that MAYBE , just maybe I get a chance to chase my dreams. My dad , being fatherly of course , bring a mahram with you if you want to go , well , that means I have to get married , or take my dad with me. Sedih, sob sob. (I am currently really sleepy) Back to the previous topic , masa result MARA keluar , sapa yang apply, check . As for me ? pointless la kan kalau check , tak pergi interview nak check buat apa. Tapi dilahirkan curious , gatai tangan jugak , saja ja nak semak keputusan. Typed in my IC , and there it is , TAHNIAH ! I was like , whaaaaaa ? Tak pergi interview tapi dapat . Masa tu memang dah buntu , tak tau nak buat apa , menangis je kat depan laptop. Who doesn't want that offer , program ke luar negara , I applied for UK , hopefully I'll get what I want , but to convince my parents was a bit hard . Perasaan dia macam ni tau , "NAK PERGIIIII , tapi nanti mak ayah sakit hati , sob sob sob " . But in the end , they approved. Dengan syarat mahram tu . I agreed , and it's a risk if I got a future husband who didn't go to the same country with me , then I can't go overseas or get married. I'm willing to take the risk , but I'm not sure now. Sebenarnya apa sebab ana trima ? sebab nak belajar luar negara ke nak kahwin ? Betulkan niat balik , kerana Allah SWT. Haa, cita-cita ana sebenanrnya , nak kahwin then sambung belajar overseas , kerja 3 tahun maybe as an architech. That's all . So , cita cita ana nak kahwin dulu , kenapa? jangan nak bagi kata putus sendiri , I know who I was, and I know who I am , and I think I know what's best for me. serius. Not kidding . But , you know , halangan. Some think that I'm not ready yet, oh well. Semoga Allah permudahkan utnuk mengelakkan maksiat. Amin. I am continuing my studies in MKIC, Mara Ketengah International College. 2 years of A levels , and if I get good grades I can finally go overseas . In shaa Allah , pray for me. As an architect student , I'll be taking IELTS , Arts and Design , Physics and Mathematics. Can't wait to enroll. The place is kinda nice , from the looks of it in the picture , and I'm glad they have this islamic surrounding going on . Ok mengantuk menguasai diri , baik solat asar terus. Sorry kalau tergantung , I really need to go . See you in a while , crocodile. Assalamualaikum

. Cinta oh Cinta .

5:57 AM

. Rakan Masjid Tercinta .

9:09 AM

Bismillahirahmanirrahim , a week has passed by , and I'm here with my UPU results , Alhadmulillah I got UIA , it's what I wanted from the start. But , It's sad , knowing that I'll be leaving such a beautiful surrounding. Ana sebenarnya sayang nak tinggalkan geng 4.0 , dan rakan masjid . Ana ingat lagi , first first masuk UTP dulu , betapa terkejutnya ana dengan bi'ah solehah dekat situ. Ana bukannlah seorang yang seperti ana sekarang , antum baca post yang lama pun antum akan kenal ana ni macam mana , ok la kita buat throwback yea ? Ana seorang pelajar yang nakal dan jahat , serius talk , ana tak mau cakap panjang , sesiapa yang pergi KPI , ana dah cerita dah kisah zaman jahil ana dahulu , betapa derhakannya ana pada ibu bapa , betapa derhakanya ana pada guru , dan ana juga dah ceritakan macam mana ana sedar sepenuhnya , hidayah itu harus dicari , dan Alhamdulillah , ana sudah peroleh cahaya ilahi yang ana cari selama ni , sekrang penghijrahan ana belum selesai , ana masih lagi merempuhi segala jenis dugaan dan cabaran , terutama sekali yang zahir sekali konep menutup aurat dan ilmu agama yang basic. Ana masih lagi belajar , berguru , dan cuba untuk menyempurnakan iman. Iman manusia bertambah dan berkurang , kadang kadang ana tersesat jalan , kadang kadang ana lupa. Bila ana masuk UTP , ana memang kagum yang sebuah IPTS boleh mewujudkan suasana islamik yang mengagumkan . Ana tertarik dengan akak akak comel yang menyambut kami , semua pakat bertudung labuh , berhandsock dan berstokin. Membuatkan ana pula yang risau , adakah dress code UTP begini? Dalam minggu MAS , ana dapat tahu yang akak abang yang ber-vest di masjid tu rupanya Rakan Masjid , ana rasa tertarik dan memang bukan satu keputusan yang menrugikan ana masuk UTP , sebab memang ana berazam nak mantapkan iman bila masuk UTP Ana diperkenalkan dengan smart group , Kak Ummi yang membahagikan kami , dan di situlah ana berkenalan dengan ahli smart group ana yang comel comel belaka. Tak dilupakan jugak akak naqibah , kak Nadhirah Hailami dan Kak Nomi . I love youuuu . SG , walaupun waktu kita bersama tidk panjang , ana bersyukur dapat bertemu dengan antunna semua , waktu yang diluangkan bersama tidak akan ana lupakan , nama antunna semua sentiasa berada dalam doaku.

Ana menghadiri interview Rakan Masjid untuk menjadi Ahli . Ana mula mula nak masuk LRKK , letak first choice , tapi hati tergerak nak masuk LSD pulak , letak second choice. Ana tertarik dengan kak Laila Izyana sebenarnya , akak cantik sangat berpurdah , tu yang tertarik tu , hehe , Alhamdulillah , ana diterima masuk Lajnah Strategi Dakwah , melalui lajnah ni ana banyak belajar tentang tanggungjawab seorang dai'e , dan cara cara untuk berdakwah , sesungguhnya sebagai umat nabi SAW itulah perkara yang wajib dibuat .Melalui LSD , ana experience usrah pertama ana, ana experience tadarus , memberi tazkirah , dan ukhuwwah yang terbina antara ahli LSD sangat manis , ana suka sangat pergi usrah lajnah , kalau ana stress , pergi usrah mesti dapat tenangkan fikiran , kakak kakak LS D semua baik dan comel belaka. Ana uhibbukum fillah ! Ana pulak diletakkan dibawah unit Liqa'dalam LSD , ana tak dapat nak contribute sepenuhnya dalam unit ni sem lepas , harap semua kesilapan diampun. Ana berat sangat nak lepaskan LSD , ana sayang LSD sangat sangat. sangat sangat sangat . LSD perform , dan terus perform !

Tak dilupakan juga kem yang ana pergi , terutama sekali kem KPI , ana dilantik menjadi mas'ulah . Walaupun ana sendiri tahu ana jahil dalam bidang macam ni . Ana cuba yang terbaik . I gave my best. KPO ana takde rezeki nak join , dengan harapan sem 2 nak join dengan may 14 , tetapi tak sambung UTP dah. huhu .Sedihnya tak dapat nak sambung menimba ilmu di UTP lagi . hukhukhuk

Termasuklah sahabat seperjuangan ana , RMJ , rakan masjid junior, sahabat yang sporting ! Kepada RMJ , ana asif ala kulli khilafi , ana mungkin bukan seorang sahabat yang baik terhadap antum , tapi percayalah melalui antum semua lah ana banyak belajar tentang islam , banyak belajar mengurus organisasi .Antum semua telah meninggalkan kesan yang mendalam dalam hidup ana. Ana minta maaf sekiranya ana bukan lah penolong ketua media yang antum harapkan , tetapi ana dah cuba yang terbaik . Ana uhibbukum fillah , ukhuwwahfillah abadan abada. in shaa Allah.

Kepada semua nya sekali , terima kasih kerana sudi menerima ana dalam keluarga rakan masjid antum , You have taught me a lot , I'm glad that Allah SWT gave me a chance to be in UTP to experience all of this with you guys . Perjuangan kita tak terhenti di sini In shaa Allah , selagi nyawa dikandung badan , selagi imaan bertakhta di hati , akan ana laksanakan tanggungjawab , memperjuangkan islam , membangkitkan anak muda islam, menyedarkan mereka, dengan ilmu yang ana ada , doakan ana ya. Ana sendiri terkejut dengan penampilan ana sendiri sekrang bandingkan dengan 4 bulan yang lepas , doakan ana istiqamah ya ? Semoga antum semua berjaya dunia akhirat , kalau ada jodoh kita jumpa lagi , kalau takde nanti kita jumpa di syurga Allah , In shaa Allah

Rakan Masjid sentiasa di hati

. Ukhuwwah fillah till Jannah .

7:48 PM

. Takdir yang menentukan .

10:48 AM

Bersedialah untuk bosan membaca rencana yang tiada titik noktah. Bismillahirahmanirrahim . Alhamdulillah , hayat masih dikandung badan. Alhamdulillah , sifat masih lagi sempurna. Alhamdulillah , alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. Sudah berhabuk lagi , Asif jiddan wahai blog ku tercinta. Ana belum lagi jumpa waktu yang sesuai , dan bila ada waktu yang sesuai , ana tak jumpa isi hati yang tersorok itu. Sebelum mula , buka nasyid Permata Di Hati , alasan sebab ana berseorangan sekarang. Kita buat campak belakang (Throwback) , 20/3/2014 , Tarikh result SPM keluar. Ana memang nerves , truthfully speaking. Tapi disebabkan test dan quiz berbagai kat UTP , ana tak terfikir lansung pasal upcoming big day nih. Ana tak de masa nak buat gabra macam kawan2 ana yang lain tu . Bila balik Kulim , Pagi pagi bangun awal , kemas rumah , menyibukkan diri sementara menunggu waktu itu. Ana punya la gabra bersiap , tak tenang lansung hati ni , bila nak berlangkah , hati gundah gulana , masuk balik ke rumah solat dhuha. Baru rasa tenang sikit. Dah sampai sekolah , jumpa kawan kawan lama , sembang kosong hanya untuk menghilangkan gelabah di hati. Mak di sebelah relax aje. So , when MR Ganesan arrived , our principal, the ceremony started. My legs was shaking uncontrollably , my palms was dripping with sweat , my mouth said prayers and my heart has only one name , Allah. All of the sudden I heard the echo of my name, there was an applause, I woke up to reality , teachers came to me , patted my back , ushered me to the stage. Me being my blur self , haven't recovered until Mr Ganesan had to say " U can go now " . The slip was in my hand , straight As. Yes , Alhamdulillah . It was more than enough . It wasn't expected at all. I met all my teachers and hugged them. Knowing that I can never reach this success without them. I thanked my parents. My dad came on time and hugged me. It wasn't superb , but it was okay. Thank you mum , dad , I wouldn't be here if it wasn't because of your sacrifice and hard work. May Allah place both of you in Jannah. In Shaa Allah.

So when this drama is over , it's time for scholarship applying. Which I'm not really good at. But I did apply a number of scholarships , and not to forget UPU. I didn't really want to be an engineer. I wanted to be an architect in shaa Allah one day. So I applied for that particular course. After applying and applying , I have this dilemma week where I cried and cried and cried . I was sad , because I don;t know why , there is a feeling telling me that UTP is not where I belong. It doesn't matter how many times I did istikharah. Then I was sad and ashamed of myself , because I DID NOT DESERVED STRAIGHT As.

I know people who worked harder than me, but they didn't get what they're supposed to get. I know people smarter than me , they were quite shocked with their results as well as mine. What is Allah trying to show , I'm not more than a sinner , I've not done anything to deserve this kind of glory , O Allah , please show me your light :( . Thru April , one by one the results of the scholarship came out , one by one sadness hits me like a metal pan , I've not gotten anything yet out of all that I've applied. Finally , I got MARA , but sadly , I didn't go to the interview , WHY ? SEBAB GATAI PI APPLY LUAQ NEGARA . Ana dapat , Seni Bina , dekat UK , tapi persediaan dekat Kolej Mara Seremban. Parents ana tak bagi pergi luar negara sebab tak de mahram. Betapa hancur nya hatiiiiii ohoi. It was my dream afterall , you know to study overseas. Knowing the kind of kid I was (Culture shocked) , they don't allow it. Maybe , if they let me go , I'd be arrogant , sombong bongkak , riyaa' dan sebagainya.

Allah swt showed me my istikarah answer thru them. Sungguh , I waited for UPU , and I got my third choice which is diploma in Interior Designing , so this choice is cancelled out from my list, because it's diploma. I was hoping that UPU would put me on my frist choice , which is UIA, alas , bukan rezeki ana. Again , Allah answered y questions. There's one thing left , USM results. But then , unfortunately , my parents did not acknowledge this earlier , and we missed the closing date. Well , its my fault of course. I didn't gave my ful attention on it. For the third time again , Allah showed me my path. Staying in UTP is the answer. Even tho , there is a heavy feeling choosing this answer , but I didn't mind spending my time in UTP surrounded by the beautiful people. I didn't want to stay, because I can't cope with the subjects. But I didn't want to leave either. Since I'm staying for the year , pray for me , please . May Allah ease everything. May Allah blesses all of you too.

There's so many to tell. I'll keep you up to date in my next post. I promise . I'm going to introduce to all of you to my friends next time. It's late now. Assalamualaikum

. kena tendang UTP .

. Cinta oh Cinta .

. Rakan Masjid Tercinta .

. Ukhuwwah fillah till Jannah .

. Takdir yang menentukan .

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